I should probably add that it was rarely ever one bus, but a series of poorly connecting buses whose drivers often abandoned ship mid-route for a thermos of coffee and a flick through the Sun. Familiar is this tale to anyone raised in the remotest corners of rural England without a driving licence. I do, however, feel execeptionally aggrieved having grown-up on a small soggy island off the south coast (no, not the Isle of Wight - the even smaller one), meaning that an additional bus was required just to get onto the same landmass that I lived on.
Bus timetables soon became another reason. Bus timetables for me are a lot like horoscopes; both hint that at some point in your future what you are waiting for may or may not happen: you might fall in love, you might get a new job, you might board a bus. Precisely when that will happen is unknown because despite all the auspicious dates and times, ('watch out for July 23rd,' 'the lucky full-moon on the 5th,' '07.32 am'), they never correspond with anything that actually happens.
This became my cornerstone for loathing buses.
But really it all began with school buses. School buses meant; a fear of those who sat on the back seats of them (an unspoken pecking order which is often replicated on public buses), the risk of starring in the graffiti scratched into their back seats (rarely complimentary), the horror of cans of deodorant and lighters becoming fun-sized blow torches, and last but by no means least, the terror of being pelted with sandwich crusts/ sanitary towels/ bodily fluids when leaving or walking past one.
Bus timetables soon became another reason. Bus timetables for me are a lot like horoscopes; both hint that at some point in your future what you are waiting for may or may not happen: you might fall in love, you might get a new job, you might board a bus. Precisely when that will happen is unknown because despite all the auspicious dates and times, ('watch out for July 23rd,' 'the lucky full-moon on the 5th,' '07.32 am'), they never correspond with anything that actually happens.
However, night buses were the last straw. I'm not going to elaborate too much on this, but before I completely swore off buses for life, I was happily eating my double cheeseburger and chips on a night bus to Victoria station when a man in front of me was nearly punched through the front window. We were on the top deck at the time.
One of my personal USPs for moving to London was its Monopoly board of Tube stations, and getting about was just a question of learning which colour took you where. Yes, I soon learnt that the space in between tube stations is unnavigable without Google maps and sure, by 11.50pm of every night-out I was running to the Tube faster than Cinderella from the ball (my shoes also removed), but it meant a life without buses, and that's what I'd signed up for. That is, until now...
The 24 bus came into my life like the new love who makes you forget all the others who came before. We met in the pouring rain while I was walking back from doing the weekly Morrison's shop with my flatmate, but I was having none of it. I would have happily carried on getting drenched with my plastic shopping bags cutting off the circulation to my fingers, but my flatmate insisted. Not wanting my neurosis to spoil what had been a perfectly lovely afternoon, I grudgingly agreed to clamber aboard.
Clean, sleek, with not a compass sketch or burnt-out seat in sight. I looked around bewildered as my flatmate's eyes glazed over and her cheeks flushed after I asked her how long this had been going on for. She explained that she'd been loyal to 24 bus for a while now: "Always there ready to scoop me up and take me home, anytime of day or night...totally changed my life."
Not wanting to fall for first impressions I did my homework and found out that the 24 bus does in fact run 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There are 27 of these shiny red charges and they can be spotted moving along their journey from Hamsptead Heath to Pimlico every 6-10 minutes. At the end of a night-out a few weeks later, thumb hovering over Chalk Farm Cabs' number on my speed dial, I decided to give the 24 a chance and see if it could live up to all the hype. I bought my double cheeseburger and chips from the Tottenham Court Road McDonalds and was astounded to be tucking in ten minutes later on the 24's top deck. Chips still warm. Not a single head flying-through-a-window to be seen.
Not only does the 24 bus brigade run on the clock, around the clock, but thanks to its prestigious route through London's centre (same route since 1910), a 24 also comes in handy if you find yourself being squashed like Simba in a Saturday-shopping-stampede on Oxford Street. What makes them better than a Batmobile for a sharp getaway is that these 'routemasters' (as they're known) had a vintage re-vamp last year with entrances now at both the front and back; perfect for leaping onto. This also makes them ideal for leaning one-handidly off the back of one whilst doing a Gene Kelly rendition of Singing in the Rain, though the conductor didn't seem to agree. The final horn to blow is that there are now 600 of these 'New Buses' issued across London and they all have hybrid engines, meaning they guzzle less gas, so you can feel green about yourself too.
Before you shake your head at me, I know this is young love, a honeymoon period at best. There may well come a day when traffic is bad and it doesn't show up, or it even drives through a puddle spraying me as I run after it. I've also heard that some of my tax money paid for its shiny new makeover and that last Summer the 24 got pretty steamy top-deck with whoever happened to show up, thanks to a hiccup with the air-conditioning and there being no opening windows. I know all of this already, but I'm still faithful, after all, it was there for me on Valentine's Day when the Tube was being all flakey and aloof about keeping a date. And given that the Tube won't be taking us anywhere from now until Wednesday the 30th of April, I recommend giving the 24 a shot if you're going its way, you might be just be won over too.
http://www.tfl.gov.uk/bus/route/24/
Clean, sleek, with not a compass sketch or burnt-out seat in sight. I looked around bewildered as my flatmate's eyes glazed over and her cheeks flushed after I asked her how long this had been going on for. She explained that she'd been loyal to 24 bus for a while now: "Always there ready to scoop me up and take me home, anytime of day or night...totally changed my life."
Not wanting to fall for first impressions I did my homework and found out that the 24 bus does in fact run 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There are 27 of these shiny red charges and they can be spotted moving along their journey from Hamsptead Heath to Pimlico every 6-10 minutes. At the end of a night-out a few weeks later, thumb hovering over Chalk Farm Cabs' number on my speed dial, I decided to give the 24 a chance and see if it could live up to all the hype. I bought my double cheeseburger and chips from the Tottenham Court Road McDonalds and was astounded to be tucking in ten minutes later on the 24's top deck. Chips still warm. Not a single head flying-through-a-window to be seen.
Not only does the 24 bus brigade run on the clock, around the clock, but thanks to its prestigious route through London's centre (same route since 1910), a 24 also comes in handy if you find yourself being squashed like Simba in a Saturday-shopping-stampede on Oxford Street. What makes them better than a Batmobile for a sharp getaway is that these 'routemasters' (as they're known) had a vintage re-vamp last year with entrances now at both the front and back; perfect for leaping onto. This also makes them ideal for leaning one-handidly off the back of one whilst doing a Gene Kelly rendition of Singing in the Rain, though the conductor didn't seem to agree. The final horn to blow is that there are now 600 of these 'New Buses' issued across London and they all have hybrid engines, meaning they guzzle less gas, so you can feel green about yourself too.
Before you shake your head at me, I know this is young love, a honeymoon period at best. There may well come a day when traffic is bad and it doesn't show up, or it even drives through a puddle spraying me as I run after it. I've also heard that some of my tax money paid for its shiny new makeover and that last Summer the 24 got pretty steamy top-deck with whoever happened to show up, thanks to a hiccup with the air-conditioning and there being no opening windows. I know all of this already, but I'm still faithful, after all, it was there for me on Valentine's Day when the Tube was being all flakey and aloof about keeping a date. And given that the Tube won't be taking us anywhere from now until Wednesday the 30th of April, I recommend giving the 24 a shot if you're going its way, you might be just be won over too.
http://www.tfl.gov.uk/bus/route/24/
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